Thursday, November 1, 2012


Lately I have been thinking a lot about people that have separated or broken up with their significant other. I am not sure what sparked this but I was intrigued. It seems to me that when a break up happens the man tends to get over it WAY faster than the woman. Do you agree?? Lets take a journey through my thoughts and some convos with some of my male friends and followers......

When you look at celebrities who break up, separate or get divorced it's almost inevitable that the man in that relationship has moved on to the next new hottie and appears to be so happy and in love. Take Jessie James for example, Sandra Bullocks' ex husband, he was quickly engaged to someone else weeks maybe even a couple of months after they separated. I'm not saying its all men that do this but it does seem a little more prominent in the male society to quickly move on.

So I took this question to some of my male friends and followers. 

Do you think men get over a breakup quicker than women? The answers were kinda split most of the males responded as it being difficult to answer that question because it depends on the male, and the breakup. All of the males did say that it is not that men get over it quicker it's that they use different coping mechanisms to get through it. However, one of my male friends stated that it could also be how a man is raised. It's a males "birthright" to be hard and not show any emotion. If hes been with someone for 10 years and breaks up with them or divorces them he is wired to show no emotion. He needs to suck it up and keep it moving. On to the next one.....

So if a man is able to move forward so quickly does that mean he never loved or cared for the woman? They all said no that does not mean that at all. Some of them even went so far as to say that most men are afraid to be alone so they move on so quickly so that they won't have to be alone. Another man said they will try to occupy themselves long enough to where the breakup doesn't even matter to them anymore. That man also said a lot of men do the "fake it to you make it" statement, it appears that they don't care or don't or didn't love that person but in actual reality they are hurt as well. I found that answer shocking. Shocking because a man actually admitted that....

How does a man heal from a relationship before moving on to the next one? Most of the guys answered this by saying everyone is different and their healing takes place differently. The general consensus was anywhere from 3 months and even one guy said a year. My jaw almost hit the floor. He said it depends on how long you were with that person and how much was invested in the relationship. Speaking of the length of the relationship one guy brought up that infamous rule. The length it takes to heal is half the time you were with that person, so if you were together for 10 years it should take you 5 to heal from the breakup. How do you guys feel about that? Is there any truth to that statement....

As for me I do find some truth in that last statement. When I went through my breakup/divorce I kept saying after year one I was healed but I wasn't and honestly four years later I can definitely say that NOW I am healed. And we were together for eight years. I never paid any attention to that rule before then. It holds some merit to me....

So readers chime in..what do you think about men moving on after a break up faster then women. Do you think it's true? Have you experienced this? Share your thoughts!!

SS <3


  1. I think there is no room for men to grieve the way that women do. They are supposed to be men and are not supposed to show any emotion. So, the only thing a man can do is find someone to occupy his time to get his mind off the break up. I know it took me a long time to get over my last relationship before my husband. I needed the time to cry/be mad/feel pitty... for everything that had happened. As for my ex, he found comfort in the arms of another. At the time, I was completely lost as to how fast he had gotten with someone else, but with time I have realized that he didn't know how to be alone and this was his way to cope.

    I thank him everyday for cheating on me, yeah I said it... because when I found out he cheated, I left him and found happiness within myself and that lead me to finding my wonderful hubby.

    I guess it's true what they say, everything happens for a reason :)

    1. I agree wholeheartedly with you Melissa, I too am thankful my ex husband cheated on me, I wouldn't be the woman I am today if it had not been for him. I finally love me and I am happy with me and who I am. Everything definitely does happen for a reason!!

  2. There is a lot of #truth in this blog post. I think we ALL cope differently to break ups and yet as females we always assume the male has gotten over us faster. It's ridiculous for females and males to assume that they know what the exact time is to get over someone or even HOW to get over someone. You may have been with someone for five years and completely lost the 'in-love' factor waaaay before that but still had love for that person. I think some people are faster to move on and others dwell on woulda coulda shouldas. Lol! One thing that is for sure - Break ups are not easy!

    1. Ariana you are so right, break ups are definitely not easy. We do cope differently and I think we should allow ourselves that time to cope with a breakup and heal from it. Both men and women should allow themselves time. I just wish more men would....

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