Thursday, September 27, 2012


Since we were last on the topic of dating, I was reading an article today about the 8 money habits you shouldn't be cool with when it comes to dating and one of those habits was "Going Dutch". Here those wheels go a turnin again.

In the year 2012 is it considered politically correct to go dutch? Chivalry is dead, guys just don't care anymore, and girls are at the same place of just not caring anymore. What happened to chivalry, what happened to a guy asking a girl out on a date, opening her door, pulling her chair out, paying for dinner etc. We live in a world where women want to be considered as equals with a man but then we get pissed when he won't open the door for us. How did we get so far off course?

I personally enjoy the chivalry, I love when a man opens my door and allows me to walk through, I love when a man walks on the outside of the street to make sure I am safe, I love when a man pays for dinner and a movie. Maybe I still live in the 50's somewhere but I don't necessarily think we should give up on it.

At the same time, this whole going dutch thing...I'm okay with it to a certain degree. I feel like its not okay to go dutch ALL THE DANG TIME, I don't think it's okay to go dutch when the person you are dating has asked YOU out. I don't think it's necessarily okay to go dutch when you're on the first, second, third or fourth date (smile) I'm not sure when I think it's okay haha. I appreciate a good, hard working man, just as much as I myself love to be a good hard working woman. I have no problem treating someone. If I invite you out to lunch, or ice cream I have no problem covering the bill. If the guy wanted to pay instead I might have a problem with that, only because I wouldn't want him to feel as if he always had to pay every time we went out. I am about compromise, the whole I get the movie you get dinner thing I'm cool with. But I also get that every now and then a girl wants to be treated for dinner, or a movie or whatever the date will be. 

Question of the day: How do you feel about "Going Dutch" are you into it, why or why not and lets hear an example of you going dutch and how it turned out??

SS <3

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Wednesday, September 26, 2012


Hey good people I feel like it's been a while since I posted and for that I apologize. It's been a crazy few days with the move, the busted ankle and settling in. Anyways in all my chaos I managed to squeeze in my....wait for it....wait for it comes.....VERY FIRST LEGITIMATE DATE!!!!!!!!!! since the divorce. I've hung out with guys but not in that intimate date kind of way. I hadn't been asked out like that in quit some time. Okay...hold on...we're going on a ride.

So this guy and I met a little over a week ago. I happened to be hanging out with another guy friend, his wife and sister at the time as we were all supporting him. He was doing karaoke on our local military base. As I was sitting outside on the enclosed patio area where the karaoke was taking place, I happened to look up and there I saw the most gorgeous, tall, curly hair, light skinned, beautiful lips and sensual brown eyed man I have seen in a long time. I think to myself "Ohhh emmm geee (aka OMG) who is THAT?" He walks past me and smiles and I reciprocate. I watched him walk past and then continued to make a complete fool of myself at karaoke. CONFESSION ALERT: I can totally sing but I still like making a fool of myself singing and dancing at karaoke. Isn't that what its for? (smile)

As my friend began singing a familiar song I was singing from my seat, I look up at the perfect time and there he is again walking back past me. My friend jumps in front of him, puts the microphone in his face he sings a few notes of the song, dances a little and keeps walking. I erupt in laughter and screams cheering both he and my friend on. He continues to look at me, walks past and smiles. At this point I am intrigued. How do we get from smiles to conversation?

Where I was sitting I could see the parking lot and I could see him walk to his car. After about 5 minutes of him sitting in his car he ends up leaving. I decide to walk out onto the parking lot to see if I could see where he went. (At this time the middle school/high school games are about to come out. Soooo DON'T JUDGE ME) (smile). I see him waiting in line to drive off base, I look down at my phone for a second and look back up. Wait a minute, where did he go? I see the car that was in front of him, and the one that was behind him, but I don't see him....hmmm All of a sudden I say to myself "He turned back around" I ran back inside (see middle school game number one) I see him pull back into the parking lot, he parks in a different location, and I walk out again on my phone. To make it look real I call a friend and leave a message about how I am using her as a decoy (yep another middle school/ high school game) etc. BUT, in all fairness to me when I went back out the second time after he parked he was "pretending" to read something so he was playing games too. (huge smile) So I finish leaving my ridiculous message and as I start to walk back in I swallow my fear and pride and say "So are you gonna come back in and sing?" He drops his reading material and I walk to the passenger side of his car, and our conversation began. 

CONFESSION ALERT: I am a total observer so all of his car windows were down and I began to make my non-obvious scan across the car, looking for any signs of another woman or children. I don't mind the children but I sure as hell mind another female...just saying. As I scanned I got caught, he says "you see the stuffed animals I won?" I answered and then I noticed one was a blue dolphin. I love dolphins, and my favorite color is........yea you guessed it. BLUE!! so I ask "is that a dolphin?" He responds, I tell him how I love dolphins etc. He reaches back and hands me the dolphin, I smiled so hard as he said "Here a dolphin for a beautiful sexy woman, I want you to have it" *sigh* men still do have manners, and they are still pleasant. We exchanged numbers and we went on our merrily way. 

An hour or so later he texts me, we correspond through text for most of the evening then silence....I assumed he went to bed, even though it was 10pm at night. But he is in the military which mean early mornings, early nights. Anywho this is the guy from my previous blog "He's just not that into you....or is he?" He is scenario number 1. So after a long span of silence I heard from him, actually the same day I posted the previous blog, which is very coincidental, we talked some more, a little more consistent and during that time we somehow got on the topic of of my favorite things to do. I shared that with him, he shared a meal he would like and I told him I would cook it for him if he wanted me to. He agreed and set up the date. Monday between 12:30-1 I agreed. I arrived at his place after 2pm (DON'T JUDGE ME) when I saw him again I had another big smile on my face, he greeted me, gave me the most amazing hug, kissed me on my cheek, told me it was great to see me again and I looked beautiful (CHEESE). We went up to his place, he took me on a tour of his place, and we sat on the couch. He put on a movie, gave me an incredible foot massage, and we talked and watched the movie. 

4:30ish rolled around and it was time to head to the grocery store, I hadn't eaten all day so by that time it was definitely time to eat, so off to the grocery store we went, we shopped, laughed, talked and went back to his place. He did not open my car door, or the door for me at the grocery store, I sarcastically told him he was such a gentlemen and he did apologize and say that he used to be very chivalrist (that's the word he used..I love it I make up my own words all the time) but women before me messed that up. I can see that, men before him messed some things up to, however I do try not to compare. Anyways, I looked past it we went back up to his place, I changed clothes, (I had on a long maxi dress and wanted to change into something more comfortable to cook) and began to cook. He kinda just watched me, put on some music and danced around the house with me, it was fun, and we watched a little Monday Night Football as well. I ended up making baked bbq chicken, green beans, corn and homemade from scratch mac and cheese. His requested meal, we sat down and ate dinner, as I looked at him while he took his first bite I was nervous, and excited at the same time. CONFESSION ALERT: Cooking is another passion of mine. I love to cook but I do not do it often because I have no one to cook for :( it's boring cooking for yourself. I look at his face, I say to myself "he seems to be enjoying it" then he catches me staring, he smiles and says "you know this is amazing right?" I smile and proceed to eat, he gets up after about 5 minutes and grabs more food. My heart is overjoyed, he finishes his second plate of food and tells me "that was absolutely delicious, omg you can cook girl" I smile and say thank you, he invites me on the couch with the throw blanket over me we cuddle on the couch as he holds me and we watch another movie. 

I cannot tell you how AMAZING it felt to be held, to be wrapped in someones arms and nothing else, just laying in his arms feeling safe and secure. That might have just been the highlight of the evening for me. Never once did he try anything, he never tried to feel me up, rub on me, kiss me or anything, he just held my hand and we cuddled. That is something I am definitely NOT used to. These guys out here in So-Cal are vultures!! 

As always, all good things must come to an end, our day was over, our dinner was over, and our movie was over. He works early so it was time for me to go home. As I packed up my stuff he walked me down to my car, I put my stuff on the passenger side, and was in mid walk to the driver side, he stopped me, grabbed me and just held me. He hugged me so tight, it felt so good, I just breathed in and then exhaled. I felt safe, I felt comfortable, I felt good. He hugged me for a good 2-3mins and if you're just hugging for that amount of time it's a long time but I didn't care. I enjoyed being in his arms. He kissed me on my cheek (CONFESSION ALERT: this woulda been the perfect time to plant those beautiful lips on mine. Secretly I really really wanted him to) and then he finally let me go, told me to let him know when I made it home, and that was that.

As much as I enjoyed this guy, I know that we only have a short time. He is moving out of state in the beginning of November. That is the beautiful life of our wonderful military. Again, all good things must come to an end (sad face) but I will say, this was one of the best first dates I have been on. It was so chilled, and relaxed, I felt like I could be myself without all the first date facades, I felt comfortable, I felt respected and I didn't feel taken advantage of. That could be partly because he is a gentlemen and that could also mean he doesn't want to lead me on since he knows he is moving. We did make that known that neither of us wanted a long distance relationship so that was established in the beginning. Regardless the reason I felt respected and appreciated and that's definitely important. I feel like he felt like he could be himself around me as well, he was open, he was vulnerable and most men are not this way at all let alone the first date. He did openly admit to me that he turned around after he had left, and I got to hear his version of the whole meeting thing, which was fun and interesting for me to hear, and then he said "I probably shouldn't be telling you this" but I appreciated the fact that he did, there was no game being ran, he was genuinely interested and so much so he turned his car around to try to have that conversation. I even asked, why did you come back, he started blushing (omg he would kill me if he knew I said that) and said "because I was really interested in getting to know you, and I wanted to talk to you" I don't know, maybe I'm out of the loop but honestly I don't know many guys that would say that. Or be that open and honest and admit that. I could appreciate that in this guy. Inspite of him leaving soon I hope his "not wanting to be misleading" nature doesn't get in the way and we get to see each other again before he leaves. *Sigh* all good things must come to an end....

QUESTION OF THE DAY: If you are married, engaged or with someone can you remember your first date? How was it, how did it make you feel, what did you do? Please post comments below and share share share :)

SS <3

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Friday, September 21, 2012


HOW THEY MET: As, I sat and waited for rehearsal to start I looked up and saw a beautiful, tall, brown skin, sexy guy walk in. "Oh my, who is THIS guy?" As I was checking him out, My eyes landed on that shinny silver wedding band wrapped around his left ring finger. "Damn, all the fine ones are always taken" "Maybe it's a purity people still wear those?" (smile) There was an immediate attraction to him, he was very nice looking and seemed like he had a nice personality as well. He looked, (oh crap I got caught staring) he smiles, I smile back and turn around. 

THEIR FIRST CONVERSATION: After a few glances, we end up being near each other enough for me to say, "Hi, my name is Songstress are you new here?' "Hi Songstress nice to meet you, I'm Alex and yes I am, I just moved here with my wife and children" STOP THE VIOLIN MUSIC, HOLD THE PHONE AND PUMP THE BRAKES. Not only is he married but he has children. As in the plural of CHILD? Hmmm....welp so much for thinking it's a purity ring. (CONFESSION MOMENT:Ladies and Gentlemen this is the story of my life. It never fails. I meet a handsome looking man, who seems like he has a great personality and before I even get to find out...he's taken, so automatically we are just friends.)

WAITING TO SING: We continue to speak, we know we are just friends, nothing more, nothing less. We never hang out by ourselves, we did exchange phone numbers but there is no harm in that. So with that said, one day we were sitting and chatting, Alex is a singer and an AMAZING singer at that. Alex is from the midwest, he's a sweet guy. He invited me into his life, I invite him into mine. We shared things with each other. So I start to think to myself "hes a great friend, always willing to listen, always willing to pray for you, always willing to be there for you. I really like that about him. I hope I find a guy like that one day"

IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE: The time has come for Alex and his family to leave So-Cal, Alex has blessed and enriched my life so much, now I have to say goodbye. During our conversations Alex shared that there were certain things happening at home and he was not happy about it. As he shared these things with me and I was there to listen and encourage him just like he did for me. Alex promised to keep in touch and I promised as well. Now, remember Alex is a singer, so he has opportunities to travel to sing for different engagements. Alex comes back to So-Cal for an engagement and contacts me, so we meet up. We sit and chat, he blesses me every time I see him and hear him speak. Such profound wisdom from a young man, I can only imagine what it will be like as he matures more. He makes my soul smile, but I know there will be nothing between us more than what there is now....Friendship. So I take him back to the airport and he fly's home to be with his family.........

DIVORCE: Alex calls and tells me that he and his wife have parted ways. I listened, I was there for him whenever, if ever he needed me. I prayed for reconciliation (honestly I did) I covered him daily. I've been through the heartache and pain of separation, and divorce it's not a fun thing to go through and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. When it was all said and done, it was over for them 

THE ISSUE: For me....the initial thoughts started running through my head again. I wanted to be there and be sympathetic and empathetic to him and his needs, his hurt and his pain. I wanted to be the friend that I have been all this time and want to continue being. And I was.....but I kept feeling those feelings and hearing my friends say "You and Alex would make a cute couple" "Alex is a handsome man, if only he wasn't married I could see you two together" I heard it a lot more than not. Even from people that didn't know him but knew me. "Hey whose that guy that sang today, he would be perfect for you" What's a girl to do? I can't say anything, I don't necessarily want to say anything for fear it will jeopardize our friendship.

We are friends, it was classified in the beginning, the situation has changed in his life, however, I'm still his friend and he is still mine. We call each other, we text each other, we Facebook each other. We care about each other, I would even go so far as to say we love each that friendship sort of way. Now that he is officially divorced, he's doing what he needs to do to heal, and move forward with his life. He even has someone in his life whom he says is his friend, they are taking things slow, and just getting to know one another. I can respect and appreciate that. I would rather put my feelings aside to save our friendship then profess something that may end up ruining our friendship and I lose out on someone who has played a big role in my life and has been there for me. In all honestly, I am happy he is healing, I am happy he is moving on, I am happy that he is starting to feel and be happy. 

So as I sigh with a hint of disappointment I realize certain people are placed in my life for a reason, whatever the reason he is in my life, I chose for him to remain in it. One day the person I am meant to be with will come along and sweep me off my feet. (BIG SMILE)

SS <3

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Have you ever felt this way about a friend? Did you express your feelings to him/her? How did it end up for you? Share your thoughts and stories below. 




DISCLAIMER: All names have been changed to protect those involved!

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Good Evening Beautiful People,

I was supposed to write this post a few days ago but more interesting topics came up first. I also want to share apart of my life to my readers because that's what I love to do. So this post is more of a vent, and also insight into my life. Here goes.....

Just recently I have began to shift things in my life. Taking a leap and starting a blog, also to generate some additional income I decided to take another step and start my own shuffle or line dancing class. Not the country kind of line dancing only because I have no idea how to do that, although I'm sure it wouldn't be that difficult to learn, however I am referring more to "The Electric Slide", "The Cha Cha Slide" "The Cupid Shuffle" etc. I LOVE doing those type of dances and I know a LOT of them. People do them everywhere, graduation parties, weddings, bbq's etc and I want to be able to teach men and women how to do those certain kinds of dances without feeling silly. Also, incorporating a little fitness in there. (I can definitely stand to lose a few pounds) so with that said this has been something that has been on my heart for some time and just recently I felt like I was released to do it. So I have been putting things in motion to start asap.

Welp, this past Sunday (the 16th)I was the victim of a slip and fall accident at my local convenient store. Okay, let me insert disclaimer, I have never ever fallen in a store before, and I am not one of those people that go into stores to fall and try and collect some sort of compensation. I am too dang big and too dang grown to be bustin' by butt (literally laughed out loud). But I am so serious. I hate falling, who does?...end disclaimer. Anyways, so as a result of this slip and fall, I believe to have seriously injured my ankle. I have been laid up all week long in a lot of pain. Thankfully it is not broken however I do believe something else is wrong with it. I can't be for certain because I have not gone to get it checked out. Partly because I lack insurance and the other reason is that I am moving this Saturday and I have to pack. 
This is what my foot has been looking like. Can we see the knot sticking out on the right side? Yea....that's not normal. 

So instead of me being mindful of my injury I am hobbling along trying to do what I need to do in order to move. I have to say I haven't been as successful as I had hope to be. So I do the only thing I know how to do. I call on my friends to help me, guess whose available........................NOBODY!!!! So I am now in a state of panic, helplessness, overwhelming state, crying mode, and down right down and out. "How could this have happened?" "How could I have been so stupid?" "How am I gonna teach my class?" "Maybe this is a sign I shouldn't be doing a class." This is my IMMEDIATE thought process, this accident was no fault of my own but in order for me to make sense of it I have to place blame, and that blame immediately goes to me. "If I didn't want what I wanted at that moment, maybe I wouldn't have fell." "Maybe if I walked around another area I wouldn't have fell." "Maybe had I bought a truck instead of an SUV I could move my own bed and not need any of those so called friends." Can you see where I am going with this?

I love my friends, they are truly like family to me and I know they love me and I know I cannot expect everyone to drop their life to come to my beckon call. I know this, but at this moment, I can't help but feel alone, and abandon. My current roommates only concern is that I am out of here by Saturday, she doesn't care that I am in serious pain, trying to get things done so that I can please her and be out, she doesn't care whether I have someone to help me move or not. It's frustrating and it hurts. As a human being and a woman you would think there would be some sort of compassion but there isn't. So, I sit in my room, I look at all the stuff that needs to yet be done, and I feel this sense of overwhelming-ness and I cry, and I cry and I cry. How did it get to this point?
My week has looked like this, Blogging, rest, ice, compression & elevation also known as R.I.C.E or in my case B.R.I.C.E (smile) That medical education is coming back.

Crying about it isn't going to make it any better but it's all I feeling like doing right now. At this point all I can do is pick myself up, stand up, pack and move my stuff. Bare the pain and make it happen, all the while praying I don't injury my ankle even more. It'd be nice to have a couple hundred dollars to pay someone to do this....

So as I rant and rave, I know it will all work out in the end...It has to and I have to believe that. Call me crazy but it's worked so far. 

How many of you have felt the "Murphy's Law" anything that can go wrong will go wrong? Have you ever felt that sense of overwhelming-ness? Helplessness? How did you recover? As always, post your thoughts and comments below and thank you for reading my ridiculously LONG posts..I'll try to do some shorter ones (smile)

SS <3

P.S. Don't forget to like the Facebook Fan Page!!
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                                I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS SONG!!!!

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Scenario #1:
So you're out and about, and you meet a guy. Guy seems interested, guy smiles, flirts, etc. Guy and girl talk, exchange phone numbers and all is well. 

Guy initiates first contact through text, guy asks questions, gets to know girl and girl reciprocates. Texting back and forth seems to be going well. Girl asks guy a question, nothing to personal something along the lines of "what are you doing this evening?" Guy doesn't respond. Girl assumes he's sleeping, even though it's 10 something in the evening, and you were just texting back and forth. Meanwhile, the next day, guy doesn't text girl. Girl texts guy later that afternoon, guy responds, the texting back and forth resumes. Guy asks question, girl responds, girl asks question...........SILENCE Five days later, still nothing?

Question #1: Is he into you? How do you approach the situation? Do you respond with another text or phone call or do you let it go and move on? What are your thoughts on this scenario?

Scenario #2:
Girl signs up for a dating site because all her friends are doing it. Girl goes through the long, ridiculous and tedious process of creating a profile, adding a picture, talking about who she is and what she is looking for. Within a 3 day span, girl checks dating profile, she notices she has some views and some interests. Girl looks at her interested parties profiles, checks her inbox, responds to whomever she is liking at the moment and awaits response.

Guy responds back, guy and girl communicate through email, then phone, guy and girl set up mutual location to hang out. Girl goes to meet guy. Guy and girl are chatting and having a fabulous time. Guy and girl meet up a few more times, hang out, chat, over dinner, coffee etc. Guy and girl correspond over the phone several times a day, girl is really feeling guy and guy seems to be really feeling girl. Guy and girl schedule another date. Date set, location set, girl is getting ready and guy calls. "Sorry something came up, and won't be able to make our date, I'll give you a call later" 6 months later.........GUY NEVER CALLED

Question #2: Is he into you? If a guy seemed totally into you and all of a sudden he just disappears what do you suspect happened? What are your thoughts on this scenario?

Scenario #3:
Guy and girl are friends, guy and girl hang out, go dancing, late night talks on the phone, text etc. Guy and girl get closer. Guy develops feelings beyond friendship for girl but doesn't know how to tell girl his feelings. So guy and girl remain friends. 

After months of their friendship growing, she being interested in what he does and vice versa, guy decides to tell girl how she feels. Girl blows up and says "I don't date Virgins, I plan to have sex before I marry someone" Guy not only feels a little sad, disrespected, rejected and disappointed but now he's also lost someone he thought was his friend.

Question #3: Is she into you? Did her fear of him being a virgin send her packing? How do you think he should handle the situation? What are your thoughts on this scenario?

As you read these scenarios put yourself in their shoes. These scenarios are real, they either come from my life or a friends life. I am curious to know how you all feel. Do you identify with any of the scenarios? Do you have a scenario you would like to share?

As I embark on this new adventure of dating I am finding it to be a lot harder than I anticipated. It's been a while, since I've been in the dating scene and it's hard to date in So-Cal for me. Or maybe I am just not doing it right (smile) help a sistah out!! So, as always post your comments below and tell me how you feel.

SS <3

Our song/video today was amusing to me. It is a compilation of pictures, lyrics, instruments, note and arrangement teaching and even a recipe. I hope you enjoy!!

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Monday, September 17, 2012


So I read a status today on one of my friend's Facebook page that kinda got me thinking. The status referenced being happy to hear when a man says that he will wait to have sex until he is married etc. So my wheels got to turnin again. Do men really wait?

It's such an uncommon, unheard of thing, that it really caught me off guard. I hear of women waiting all the time, I myself am waiting so it's no surprise when I hear one of my girlfriends talk about it, but I don't think I know of many men or hear of many men waiting to have sex until they are married.

I read a study that says out of the 38,000 Americans polled 95% of them have had premarital sex. I also found this to be interesting, in the Christian community, 80% of young adults between the age of 18-29 have had premarital sex, and all of this has been going on since the 1950's. With numbers like these you too may be surprise when you hear of ANY person saying they are waiting especially a man. On the escapist portal dot com I ran across a poll that purposed the question "Should people wait until they're married to have sex?" The response? "7.4%(86 people) said YES, 63.9% (746 people) said NO and 28.4% (331 people) said NO, But they should be in a serious relationship fist. How would you guys answer this question?

I first saw this picture circulating on Facebook. I wondered to myself.."Is this still as popular in 2012 as it once was 20 years ago?" What happened that made things change? So I ask you, does it surprise you that there are men out there that wait to have sex when they get married? If you are single are you waiting or do you believe in waiting? Post your comments below!!

SS <3

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So-Cal has had it's temperature setting on "hell" lately. The temperature has gotten up to 115 degrees where I live!! Some of you may be used to that but for us it is foreign. It's been so hot that when you do get a breeze it feels like someones hot breath is blowing all over you. Lets all say it together now: "EWWWWWWWWWWW" Yea my sentiments EXACTLY. It has been disastrous. 

Yesterday (Saturday) I was out at a festival, volunteering where we had ambulances on deck just in case something happened. (For those wondering on deck means standing About 5 people had passed out, or got sick within an hour of me being there. I can only imagine what that number was like when the festival ended. 

This is what the temperature was like between 8am-10am. 
And 109 degrees was the temp an hour late. And this doesn't even begin to touch the surface. It amazes me how hot it gets in certain parts of the city. Where I am from there was humidity so it would be 80 degrees but the humidity would make it feel like it was 180 degrees. I don't which one is worse, dry hot hair or air with moisture that's equally as hot.

I made it through and today (Sunday) wasn't that bad, it was in the 80's and the breeze was a lot cooler. I survived the over 100 degree weather some way some how. Can't wait to see what tomorrow (Monday) holds. 

How does one stay cool in weather like this? There's only so much water a person can drink, and cool compresses we can put on us. How do you guys stay cool during the hot summer months? (besides being in air conditioning) Post your comments below.

SS <3

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Thursday, September 13, 2012


My goal in embarking on this new blog journey was to write at least every other day or something similar to that. However, I saw something today that peaked my interest and got my wheels-a-turnin. I sat on it all day today, completed my introduction (thank you to those that read it) did some other things, went about my daily activities but I just couldn't shake what I saw so I'm doing what I do best....talking about it.

Who get's to define my beauty, your beauty, OUR beauty as people? What makes a person "ugly", and who are we to say that person is "ugly". Is it because they don't look like us, or their not shaped like we are, or they don't have long, curly, or wavy hair like us, or their skin isn't the same complexion as ours? Is there such a thing as "ugly" people? I firmly believe that a persons heart could be ugly, and you should know what I mean when I say that. "Out of the heart, the mouth speaks" a person can be mean, nasty, have hatred, be cold, etc. which would make a persons heart "ugly".

Taken from the word ugly means: Adjective: 1.Unpleasant or repulsive, esp. in appearance: "she thought she was ugly and fat". 2. (of a situation or mood) Involving or likely to involve violence or other unpleasantness: "the mood in the room turned ugly" 

So I ask the question again who gets to define our beauty? If someone says we are "ugly" does that make them right? Confession: I have called people ugly, more so woman than anything, but looking back on it how does that reflect back on me? So I say all of this to say, I read a story, and watched a video of a very special, and beautiful young woman, who wrote a book. This young woman's name is Lizzie and she was on the show to promote her new book. Lizzie was born with a very rare disease. She was born without Adipose Tissue, which basically means she was born without fat, she is literally skin and bones. She weighs around 60lbs and our society as deemed her "The ugliest woman in the world" Can you imagine being called that?

When I read this ad I literally cried for Lizzie. My heart broke because I can only imagine the many nights she cried because someone called her ugly, or pointed and laughed at her, or called her some other crazy names, or stared at her as if she were an alien, the kids that picked on her as a child, the adults that still pick on her today. I cried out, "why, why does she have to suffer like that?", then I played her interview video. She didn't shed one tear, she spoke with authority, and conviction. She is a woman who knows who she is and her rare disease does NOT define her. Being a woman in this world is difficult. We are so insecure and yes I said WE as in me too. We struggle with the way we see ourselves, our weight, our hair, our eyes, our nose, our hips, our thighs and on and on and on. And here is this woman with her rare disease, saying I'm okay with how I look, this does not define me as a person, this is not who I am. I was so encouraged by her and how she spoke. At such a young age, she has a voice, she has something say, she knows she is beautiful, she knows she is "fearfully and wonderfully made". There is a message in her story and as you listen and watch her my hope is that you are encouraged too, and that you think twice before you allow the word "ugly" to slip out of your mouth. Think about Lizzie!

So Lizzie, I don't know if you will ever see or read this but here is a SHOUT OUT TO YOU!! You are beautiful inside and out. You inspire me to not only be a better woman but to be a better human being. To think twice before I speak, to not be judgmental and tear my fellow sisters down, and to appreciate everyone and everything. You have an amazing heart and such passion, conviction and authority. Continue to use it for good. Your voice will be heard, we will get to know a person for who they are and not what they look like. We will "stop staring and start learning!!"

SS <3

Click Here ----> Lizzie Velasquez to read more about Lizzie


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN SONGSTRESS HAS ARRIVED think you can write and you want to be a blogger but you have no idea where to begin? 

Yep that was me and if I am honest (this is confessions of a songstress..right?) that still is me. I know I love to write and I know I have a lot to say but will anyone be interested in me? Well I took the step so lets see what happens. Either way I will have fun doing it. So lets take a trip and find out who this Songstress girl is.

I,Songstress hail from Detroit, MI and as a Twenty Something young lady I now reside in Sunny Southern California! Life has been interesting for me, it hasn't always been fun and it hasn't always been good, but it's my life. I have experienced the beauty of being pregnant, having a child and being married, however I have also experienced the trauma of losing that child, having my life/heart ripped from me and going through a divorce. Life as I knew it was over. I have had the joys of having a wonderful mother and being an only child, but I also have had the trauma of losing that wonderful mother at an early age, not having a father around consistently and the blessing I thought I had? Turned into being a curse of being an "only child". So now I'm all alone. No one in my corner, no one to fight for me, no one to talk to, lean on or cry to. So what do I do? Honestly, what would you do? Confession number two...I wanted to die, and I even attempted...why should I keep living when everything I have ever loved or cared about has been snatched from me? And believe me, even though this is bad, it's actually worse, but there is/was more to my life story that's just as bad if not worse, but these are the most recent and life changing things I chose to share. 

To get through traumatic things like I have been through you have to have a certain level of faith, a certain level of understanding that you were created for bigger, greater things. Those things that were taken from you? I turn that around and say those things that were given to me for a mere season, enriched, blessed, and encouraged my life for their season. They have now passed on (whether physically or emotionally) and now I have the choice to continue on and do what I have been called to do!!

So I choose to be a light, to encourage, to share, to be positive in the things that I do. I choose to invite you into my life, and go for the fun roller coaster ride and embark on new adventures with me. Lets go shopping, lets try the newest make up, toys and gadgets. Lets go on a date, a real date and see what the world has to offer. Lets watch and talk about some football and UFC. Lets step out of our comfort zone together and create some beautiful, and magical memories. Will you go for the ride with me? I promise you won't be disappointed.

Thanks for reading,
Songstress (SS) <3