Friday, September 21, 2012


HOW THEY MET: As, I sat and waited for rehearsal to start I looked up and saw a beautiful, tall, brown skin, sexy guy walk in. "Oh my, who is THIS guy?" As I was checking him out, My eyes landed on that shinny silver wedding band wrapped around his left ring finger. "Damn, all the fine ones are always taken" "Maybe it's a purity people still wear those?" (smile) There was an immediate attraction to him, he was very nice looking and seemed like he had a nice personality as well. He looked, (oh crap I got caught staring) he smiles, I smile back and turn around. 

THEIR FIRST CONVERSATION: After a few glances, we end up being near each other enough for me to say, "Hi, my name is Songstress are you new here?' "Hi Songstress nice to meet you, I'm Alex and yes I am, I just moved here with my wife and children" STOP THE VIOLIN MUSIC, HOLD THE PHONE AND PUMP THE BRAKES. Not only is he married but he has children. As in the plural of CHILD? Hmmm....welp so much for thinking it's a purity ring. (CONFESSION MOMENT:Ladies and Gentlemen this is the story of my life. It never fails. I meet a handsome looking man, who seems like he has a great personality and before I even get to find out...he's taken, so automatically we are just friends.)

WAITING TO SING: We continue to speak, we know we are just friends, nothing more, nothing less. We never hang out by ourselves, we did exchange phone numbers but there is no harm in that. So with that said, one day we were sitting and chatting, Alex is a singer and an AMAZING singer at that. Alex is from the midwest, he's a sweet guy. He invited me into his life, I invite him into mine. We shared things with each other. So I start to think to myself "hes a great friend, always willing to listen, always willing to pray for you, always willing to be there for you. I really like that about him. I hope I find a guy like that one day"

IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE: The time has come for Alex and his family to leave So-Cal, Alex has blessed and enriched my life so much, now I have to say goodbye. During our conversations Alex shared that there were certain things happening at home and he was not happy about it. As he shared these things with me and I was there to listen and encourage him just like he did for me. Alex promised to keep in touch and I promised as well. Now, remember Alex is a singer, so he has opportunities to travel to sing for different engagements. Alex comes back to So-Cal for an engagement and contacts me, so we meet up. We sit and chat, he blesses me every time I see him and hear him speak. Such profound wisdom from a young man, I can only imagine what it will be like as he matures more. He makes my soul smile, but I know there will be nothing between us more than what there is now....Friendship. So I take him back to the airport and he fly's home to be with his family.........

DIVORCE: Alex calls and tells me that he and his wife have parted ways. I listened, I was there for him whenever, if ever he needed me. I prayed for reconciliation (honestly I did) I covered him daily. I've been through the heartache and pain of separation, and divorce it's not a fun thing to go through and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. When it was all said and done, it was over for them 

THE ISSUE: For me....the initial thoughts started running through my head again. I wanted to be there and be sympathetic and empathetic to him and his needs, his hurt and his pain. I wanted to be the friend that I have been all this time and want to continue being. And I was.....but I kept feeling those feelings and hearing my friends say "You and Alex would make a cute couple" "Alex is a handsome man, if only he wasn't married I could see you two together" I heard it a lot more than not. Even from people that didn't know him but knew me. "Hey whose that guy that sang today, he would be perfect for you" What's a girl to do? I can't say anything, I don't necessarily want to say anything for fear it will jeopardize our friendship.

We are friends, it was classified in the beginning, the situation has changed in his life, however, I'm still his friend and he is still mine. We call each other, we text each other, we Facebook each other. We care about each other, I would even go so far as to say we love each that friendship sort of way. Now that he is officially divorced, he's doing what he needs to do to heal, and move forward with his life. He even has someone in his life whom he says is his friend, they are taking things slow, and just getting to know one another. I can respect and appreciate that. I would rather put my feelings aside to save our friendship then profess something that may end up ruining our friendship and I lose out on someone who has played a big role in my life and has been there for me. In all honestly, I am happy he is healing, I am happy he is moving on, I am happy that he is starting to feel and be happy. 

So as I sigh with a hint of disappointment I realize certain people are placed in my life for a reason, whatever the reason he is in my life, I chose for him to remain in it. One day the person I am meant to be with will come along and sweep me off my feet. (BIG SMILE)

SS <3

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Have you ever felt this way about a friend? Did you express your feelings to him/her? How did it end up for you? Share your thoughts and stories below. 




DISCLAIMER: All names have been changed to protect those involved!


  1. Yes, I've been in that situation before. He gave me mix signals that I started falling for him. Until he mention it's better off if we remain friends only.

    We've hanged out everyday and there's times we don't see each other. On the days we don't see each other, he calls and say's I miss you let's get together soon. Of course I drop everything just to be with him.

    My feelings for him was getting stronger so I decided to tell hiim how I feel. I was nervous, feeling embarrass because what if he starts to laugh at me.. I started dressing up for him so he can notice ME!

    When I told him how I felt, he doesn't see me the same way how I felt for him. My heart dropped, I felt useless, I wanted to hide. I was extremely disappointed, but what can I do.

    The weirdest part was he still wanted to be friends. It was hard because I have to put my feelings aside for him. I needed to learn how to control my feelings.

    Couple of months later everything went well like nothing happened, until he drop the bomb on me how he's seeing someone. Again, I felt I was being stab behind my back so I gave him an attitude.

    I kept telling myself, what's wrong with me. Why can't he be with me. I'm wiping the tears coming down my face in front of him.
    As you can tell my feelings for him hasn't gone away.

    What I needed to do is completely shut him out of my life in order to heal myself. Until this day I haven't heard from him. My life without him was much better.

    What I've learned from this experience is tell the person how you feel because if you don't, the opportunity may not come again and it will be too late until he's in a relationship. Also, when he tells you, how he wants to be friends, ask yourself if you can handle the situation without putting your emotions in the middle of your friendship that you won't show any type of jealousy once he's in a relationship.

  2. I hate that, that happened to you. That is exactly what I am afraid of. I would just rather keep him as my friend then to lose him all together. I am fine with him doing what he does and I am okay with that. Do I wish he would profess his undying love to me. HECK YEA but it'll happen if its meant to be. Thank you for your thoughts <3

  3. ugh! It makes me want to play matchmaker all the more! You deserve someone amazing to be by ur side!

  4. Wow songstress i loved the way you express yourself. but please dont do it. i been there and sadly i lost a friend. we both knew there was something there we cross the line both of us did. the sad part is like you said everyone around us saw the magic when we where together but something happen and we just did our lives without each other.

    I see him all the time where he works at and omg i ain't going to lie i still feel butterflies but all i do is turn around and go about my business.

    it was really hard to loose someone that you share everything with. he was such an amazing guy. to sad for us. so just listen and be there for him.

    1. Thank you so much my2preciousboys. More than likely I won't be willing to risk our friendship so I won't say anything. I appreciate your honesty and telling your story. From what I get reading your post is that you regret taking it to that level because now you have lost a friend to? When you see him do you guys even speak? Thanks again for reading and commenting :)

      RUBY....HOOK IT UP GIRL!!!!

    2. When we decided to take it to the next level it was wow a fantansy lol. everything was great but I guess that we grew apart. since we started working far from each other we hardly had time to talk and see each other. we needed someone close to us so I take it that's when we started in our new relationships. I don't regret it I just wish I would of known then how much he ment to me and I would of not let him go so easily. When I see him we only smile at each other and he takes a long look at my boys. Then we turn and go. It's sad girly.