Thursday, September 20, 2012


Scenario #1:
So you're out and about, and you meet a guy. Guy seems interested, guy smiles, flirts, etc. Guy and girl talk, exchange phone numbers and all is well. 

Guy initiates first contact through text, guy asks questions, gets to know girl and girl reciprocates. Texting back and forth seems to be going well. Girl asks guy a question, nothing to personal something along the lines of "what are you doing this evening?" Guy doesn't respond. Girl assumes he's sleeping, even though it's 10 something in the evening, and you were just texting back and forth. Meanwhile, the next day, guy doesn't text girl. Girl texts guy later that afternoon, guy responds, the texting back and forth resumes. Guy asks question, girl responds, girl asks question...........SILENCE Five days later, still nothing?

Question #1: Is he into you? How do you approach the situation? Do you respond with another text or phone call or do you let it go and move on? What are your thoughts on this scenario?

Scenario #2:
Girl signs up for a dating site because all her friends are doing it. Girl goes through the long, ridiculous and tedious process of creating a profile, adding a picture, talking about who she is and what she is looking for. Within a 3 day span, girl checks dating profile, she notices she has some views and some interests. Girl looks at her interested parties profiles, checks her inbox, responds to whomever she is liking at the moment and awaits response.

Guy responds back, guy and girl communicate through email, then phone, guy and girl set up mutual location to hang out. Girl goes to meet guy. Guy and girl are chatting and having a fabulous time. Guy and girl meet up a few more times, hang out, chat, over dinner, coffee etc. Guy and girl correspond over the phone several times a day, girl is really feeling guy and guy seems to be really feeling girl. Guy and girl schedule another date. Date set, location set, girl is getting ready and guy calls. "Sorry something came up, and won't be able to make our date, I'll give you a call later" 6 months later.........GUY NEVER CALLED

Question #2: Is he into you? If a guy seemed totally into you and all of a sudden he just disappears what do you suspect happened? What are your thoughts on this scenario?

Scenario #3:
Guy and girl are friends, guy and girl hang out, go dancing, late night talks on the phone, text etc. Guy and girl get closer. Guy develops feelings beyond friendship for girl but doesn't know how to tell girl his feelings. So guy and girl remain friends. 

After months of their friendship growing, she being interested in what he does and vice versa, guy decides to tell girl how she feels. Girl blows up and says "I don't date Virgins, I plan to have sex before I marry someone" Guy not only feels a little sad, disrespected, rejected and disappointed but now he's also lost someone he thought was his friend.

Question #3: Is she into you? Did her fear of him being a virgin send her packing? How do you think he should handle the situation? What are your thoughts on this scenario?

As you read these scenarios put yourself in their shoes. These scenarios are real, they either come from my life or a friends life. I am curious to know how you all feel. Do you identify with any of the scenarios? Do you have a scenario you would like to share?

As I embark on this new adventure of dating I am finding it to be a lot harder than I anticipated. It's been a while, since I've been in the dating scene and it's hard to date in So-Cal for me. Or maybe I am just not doing it right (smile) help a sistah out!! So, as always post your comments below and tell me how you feel.

SS <3

Our song/video today was amusing to me. It is a compilation of pictures, lyrics, instruments, note and arrangement teaching and even a recipe. I hope you enjoy!!

Video Souce


  1. Ooh... Good scenarios. I'll bite.

    Scenario #1: My gut says borderline. He's obviously interested enough to have a text conversation, but he disappears abruptly and doesn't make an effort to resume the conversation the next time he's got time, and replying to you isn't high on his priority list if he's letting it go five days. However, I feel like two text message conversations isn't giving him quite enough chance... I'd say give him one or two more shots, and if the pattern doesn't break... He's not that into you.

    Scenario #2: Not that into you, obviously. If he was, he would have called by now. I'm not sure how much So-Cal is like the NYC dating scene (though considering that I've read and identified heavily with blogs chronicling the So-Cal scene, I would assume they're pretty similar), but often I found when I was dating that I was competing with a lot of stuff a guy's attention... whether that be because the guy was going on dates with other people (totally possible if he's on a dating site) or other life obligations (single city people are VERY social). If I was interested, I would have made an effort to have tried to get his attention a week or two after the canceled date irregardless of whether or not he said he'd call.

    Scenario #3: My initial thought was her reaction was rude. The decision on when to have sex for the first time is a really personal one and no one deserves to be disrespected for that decision. However, when someone has an emotionally charged reaction to something... I.E. they blew up instead of communicating their preference calmly that tends to make me curious. I can speculate a lot of reasons... but don't really want to without facts as to why he's chosen to remain a virgin... but I will say this. If he considers her at very least a friend, he needs to man up. If he felt disrespected by her reaction, he needs to calmly and gently tell her that he felt hurt by how she reacted and give a thought out reason as to why, and likewise he needs to give her the opportunity to express why she reacted the way she did, and why she feels the way she feels on the issue. Sex (and when to start having it) is a really important thing to discuss in a relationship. Different people have different values and expectations and baggage based on their own experiences, open and non-judgmental communication is essential. While they might discover that they're not relationship compatible, I would say that the friendship might still be salvageable if he reached out to her with forgiveness.

  2. Nikkiana I LOVE IT!!!! Thank you for responding and I appreciate your answers. Scenario 3 was good..I guess I should've been a little more detailed with it but you made some valid points. Do you have any personal or friends scenarios you would like to share? Have you ever been the interested party only to find out "He's just not that into you?"

  3. Scenarios 1 & 2.. textbook cases of "He's not into you". If a guy is actually interested in going out, he will make the effort.

    3-- She's not that into him and the virgin thing was a total excuse to give him a reason to leave.

  4. Thank you Becky for your thoughts. Do you mean the virgin thing was an excuse for her to leave? Or you meant him? Can you elaborate on that? I also meant to clarify for scenario two that the girl did call guy after he said he would call her but guy never returned girls phone call. Becky do you have any situations you would like to share? Or can you identify with any of these scenarios?

  5. She used the "I'll never sleep with a virgin" as an excuse to push him away.

    I just went through the first scenario. I texted and got responses for a while, then nothing. Then I'd get something again, then nothing. Finally, I said I was done and I haven't texted or attempted to contact him again. You have to know when to leave well enough alone.

    1. LOL & High 5 you definitely have to know when to leave well enough alone. I will say that scenario 1 was my own personal and VERY recent story and surprisingly guy text me today. He doesn't know I write a blog lol so it's not like he read this and knew I was talking about him, but I did just find that pretty ironic. But I definitely agree you have to know when to leave well enough alone and stop trying to push something. If it's going to happen it will happen. Great points Becky thanks for sharing :)